All I have done in the past hour is look at my notes for my test and just cry.
Not because I
don’t want to study…I’m just crying.
And I found out the grade for the test I took today….let’s say I cried more about that and I literally cnnot look at these medical words without thinking “hey, I should have got that word right on the test!”
I know,big deal I got a low B on a test but I stress grades,it doesn’t matter but it does to me. I feel like I am doing shit without an A. I’m trying to work on getting my GPA .5 higher than it is now so I can get an extra thousand for school. I just have a lot of pressure on me for what I want to do and I’m not even sure if I’ll make it through those years.
My mom doesnt even give a shit either. I’ve been crying all day and all she does is tell me she is sick of me randomly crying when i’m having a shitty day and she wishes I would just stop. I think she hopes I would rather smoke or drink myself to death instead. Sorry for the disappointment.
I know she is going through so much but I’ve been helping her this whole time while she has been sleeping 24/7 depressed. Sorry, but I may not be in the real world but I’m as close to it and I’m slipping into depression again. I’m sorry I can’t be the perfect daughter you want 24/7. Sorry that I make my siblings cry because we are siblings and sorry that I cry too much and get an attitude when I don’t feel ‘well’ and sorry I’m a fucking wreck because I’m living the teenage life and sorry I’m not the great student you were in high school.
just because i don’t follow u back doesn’t mean i think u have a shitty blog. you might just have posts/fandoms/stuff i don’t really want on my dash. and hey, that’s fine. it’s YOUR tumblr you’re here for you and that’s goodgreatawesome
but please don’t think me not following you back means i hate u 5ever and that u can never inbox me or reply to my posts or follow me on twitter or something b/c that is not what it means at all
Might as well relaspe because I doubt I’ll get better….
Though without tumblr I would still be crying in the middle of a public place.
Bad thing is either I have to get my mind off what happened today or try to study while crying.
I need to be cheered up or I’m going to fail yet another two tests for medicine.